This week’s series on Portal 2 will focus on the three main characters- GLaDOS, Wheatley, and Cave Johnson. We’ll look at their unique journeys and what we can learn from them in this test chamber we call life. Today we’ll talk about Chell’s frenemy Wheatley, who happens to provide a good case study from one particular book of the Bible.
When we meet Wheatley after being rudely awakened back inside Aperture Science, he seems nice enough. He’s friendly, funny, quirky, and helpful. He’s obviously got the market cornered on the descriptor “bumbling,” but he’s useful enough to get Chell to the confrontation with GLaDOS. From this point in the game forward, Wheatley’s role changes, which brings us back to our mythological parallel from the previous post…
If GLaDOS represents Prometheus in this story, then Wheatley is definitely Epimetheus. Who’s that you ask? Well I hadn’t heard of such a character in Greek mythology either. But as it turns out, Epimetheus is Prometheus’ dumb brother. The gods were not happy with Prometheus for his little “let’s give mankind fire” stunt, so they decided to get back at him by crippling humanity. Prometheus was too sharp to fall for their tricks, so they went through the idiot brother, Epimetheus. They created for him a woman named Pandora who was later given a box by the gods. Yes, that box. Prometheus warned Epimetheus not to accept the gift, knowing what was going on. Of course he did accept it and gave it to Pandora who opened it and, as you know, ruined everything.
Pictured: Pandora with Epimetheus and a box. Ends badly.
The confrontation with GLaDOS ends with Wheatley in control of the entire facility, and GLaDOS as a potato. As you can imagine from what we know of Wheatley, this situation is very bad news for everyone. GLaDOS reveals that out of all the intelligence cores designed, Wheatley was intentionally made to be the most idiotic for the sole purpose of dumbing down GLaDOS’s hyper-intelligence. To further elaborate on Wheatley’s character, let’s use a book of the Bible that provides a great deal of insight on the topic of wisdom and the lack thereof- Proverbs.
Proverbs 30:21-22– “Under three things the earth trembles; under four it cannot bear up: a slave when he becomes king, and a fool when he is filled with food”
Proverbs 10:14– “The wise lay up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool brings ruin near.“
The message here is that when a fool is placed in a position of power or prosperity, it’s a terrible thing for everyone. So terrible, in fact, that the very earth trembles. Epimetheus’ foolishness caused trouble for the whole earth in that Greek myth and I’m sure you can think of other examples, even from your life. Ever had a boss that you’re sure was promoted as a mistake or a cruel joke? Ever had a class where you thought you could teach the class better than the professor? In Wheatley’s case, his neglect and mismanagement of the reactor core threatens to destroy the entire facility within just a few hours of taking over. When the foolish thrive, ruin is brought near and everyone suffers.
Proverbs 15:21– “Folly is a joy to him who lacks sense, but a man of understanding walks straight ahead.”
Wheatley takes over the scientific testing process and immediately becomes addicted to the thrill of it. GLaDOS quickly realizes that his lack of intelligence will make this addiction to testing unsustainable. Sure enough, he gets so much joy from it that he allows the rest of the facility to fall apart so he can focus only on making Chell do tests. The choice to disregard his other responsibilities was not just foolish, but he actually enjoyed it. The phrase “folly is a joy” makes one think of an irresponsible man-boy laughing at YouTube videos of dudes getting hit in the crotch all day.
Proverbs 13:16– “In everything the prudent acts with knowledge, but a fool flaunts his folly.”
Wheatley not only lacks the know-how to run the facility, but he’s showing off his failed attempts at success to Chell. He seems proud of his useless turret-cubes and makes no attempt to hide the fact that he has to dig up old test chambers rather than making them on his own. Ever known someone to show off their bad ideas? Some people know they’re making bad decisions, but that doesn’t keep them from telling you all about them.
Proverbs 12:16– “The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent ignores an insult.”
Even though he was created for the purpose of being dumb, Wheatley does not like being called a moron. Every time GLaDOS taunts him in his idiocy, he quickly flies off the handle and shows his irritation, usually by doing something else stupid. If you want to a expose a fool, just try to make them angry and see how quickly their anger comes out. On the other hand, we have GLaDOS (our beacon of wisdom in this situation) who can take an insult as easily as she can dish one out.
Proverbs 29:9– “If a wise man has an argument with a fool, the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet.”
Proverbs 26:4– “Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself.”
This is best illustrated by GLaDOS’s attempt to confuse Wheatley with an emergency rogue AI paradox. She risks her own sanity (“lest you be like him yourself”) on an attempt to confuse him with a paradox. She engages him with a statement that is completely illogical and what happens? He blows it off and provides an equally idiotic response. Think of that person who would argue with you no matter what well-reasoned arguments you presented. Fools will continue to defend their point because it makes perfect sense- but only to them.
Proverbs 18:6– “A fool’s lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating.”
This one speaks for itself. You can likely name someone who shot off their dumb mouth enough that they eventually received some form of beating. For example, here’s what GLaDOS wished on Wheatley: “Crushing’s too good for him. First he’ll spend a year in the incinerator. Year two: Cryogenic refrigeration wing. Then TEN years in the chamber I built where all the robots scream at you. THEN I’ll kill him.” It’s strange how stupid people can bring out thoughts of such violence. Of course, anyone who’s driven a car on a crowded road can relate to that.
Wheatley eventually meets his fate when he’s abandoned in space with another space core. Only then does he start to think through his actions and what foolish choices he made. The moral of the story: Seek wisdom, don’t be like the fool.
Questions:
What are some of the foolish things you’ve seen people do?
What are some of the foolish things you’ve done? Do any of these verses apply to you?
Where do you go to seek wisdom?
Next time we’ll finish up Portal 2 by getting to know the forward-thinking, enthusiastic, near-maniacal founder of Aperture Science, Cave Johnson.
Reclaimer 105 
January 26th, 2012 at 11:34 AM
Good thoughts!
This is the internet – so it’s WAY easy to see people doing foolish things! Arguing online definitely tops the list.
Regarding my own foolishness, do I just have to pick one?
The verses don’t apply to things I’ve done, I try to stay pretty chill in response to “fools”…. but since the bar has been raised and it’s NOT about the things I’ve done, but how I react inside – I’m guilty of all of them.
My hope is that I’m learning how people’s minds/hearts are changed. It’s definitely not anything that I can say or do!
January 26th, 2012 at 8:21 PM
That is wise to understand that we do not change people, that God is ultimately the only one who can change people. I believe that’s why Solomon puts so much emphasis on being silent and not engaging with the fools.
But at the same time, like you said, we’re all fools at some point, if not by action, then in our hearts.
Thanks for the your comment!
January 27th, 2012 at 7:28 AM
[…] He wrote a few books that made it into the Bible, including Proverbs (which we discussed in the last post). He also wrote Ecclesiastes, which is a much darker book, likely written during his emo years. In […]